media recs // achievement, ambition, and affection
for when you’re burned out, uninspired, or just trying to figure out what the good life is
More so than usual, the last few days have been a flurry of simultaneously doing too much and not enough. I finally installed the AC in the living room even though it’s almost July. I’m late to things, and I make promises that I forget about. I get overwhelmed doing things, I get antsy doing nothing.
But I want to dignify some of the thoughts that have made a home in my mind. As I often write about, I admire my friends very deeply, and I feel lucky that they encounter (what I think) to be super cool or thought-provoking media that they send to me. I’ve liked these ideas so much that I want to share them here with you.
#1 Achievement Society and the rise of narcissism, depression and anxiety - Byung-Chul Han
Podcast by Philosophize This! (episode link here)
Someone recommended this to me, and it’s so good I’ve since forwarded this to over 10 people. Byung-Chul Han (the philospher discussed) writes about how our modern, achievement-driven society has made us obsessed with ourselves and our personal success to the point of narcissism. This is because, for the first time in history, we’re collectively burdened with the deeply existential question: What should I do with my life?
For example, centuries ago, there was no expectation of class ascension. You could feel relatively satisfied by completing a “good day’s work,” and you would never be incentivized to till the soil a little harder. Things are simple, you marry another serf you like, and you’re happy with your lot in life.
Nowadays, we are inundated with the “you can be anything you want narrative.” This might sound liberating, but actually creates overwhelming pressure to constantly “do better,” self-optimize, and measure our worth against that. No surprise, this leads to a large increase in depression, anxiety, and even plain self-contempt.
If you’re like me and stake a lot of your identity on your achievement, then listening to this is like taking a breath of air without even knowing you were underwater. Thankfully, Byung-Chul Han is pretty pragmatic and gives actionable solutions to these problems. It’s given me a refreshed look at what it means to enjoy things, take life for what it is, and really make space for other people. Give it a listen.
#2 Ocean Vuong Was Ready to Kill. Then a Moment of Grace Changed His Life.
Podcast by NYT’s The Interview (episode link here)
I’ve read snippets of Ocean Vuong’s On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous, but I’ve never had a full glimpse or appreciation of Ocean Vuong’s life journey until this episode. He has some fascinating takes on goodness and kindness as an intrinsic property, and it makes me wonder about ways we can try to cultivate kindness intentionally in our lives. Also interesting is he shares his own life experience straddling two wholly social milieus and the loneliness that comes with class mobility. There’s a specific example that sticks in my mind of when he bails his cousin out of jail:
“Come to this 24-hour bail bond.” MacArthur genius? Who cares? New Yorker? Who cares? In a way, that’s refreshing… I don’t come home as Ocean Vuong, the writer, I come home as Ocean, the nephew, the cousin who’s gonna buy my new Yeezy’s.”
#3 The Materialists
This was such a fun watch! A hypermodern late-stage capitalist spin on the classic love triangle. Very beautiful people, very beautiful problems.
What I love about this film is (1) how it brings the conversation about wealth and love to the forefront and (2) that it portrays this conversation as inevitable and pragmatic. People may differ on where they land in this debate, but I believe strongly that this is a conversation worth having. If you believe that marriage is fundamentally a joint partnership, and one’s financial resources have a significant impact on the lived experience (we do live in society), well, there you go.
I can’t help but compare it to Celine Song’s only other film Past Lives, where Song again brings a very pragmatic take to love, romance, and marriage. Both movies make the distinction between true love and a successful marriage, and both movies explore how certain connections bond people forever. Romantic, no?
And this move had such banger quotes too. My favorite is by far:
We’re talking about people. People are people are people are people. They come as they are.
Snippets of thought-provoking text messages
From L: People are super winner take all. The top 10% of people in my life contribute thousands of times more than the bottom 90%
From P: As you get older, you realize all that fortune cookie shit is true1
From S: How are you shaping the next season of your life? And personality traits will you adopt to to do this well?
There really isn’t a graceful way to end this post other than “hope you also enjoy this smattering of random philosophical things I find deeply interesting.” And the natural follow-up of: please comment here or in the group chat if you end up listening to any of these podcasts because I’m curious how it has affected you, too. Let’s be more kind and thoughtful together…? At the very least, think on it a bit more. That’s it for me for now.
Fortune cookie laundry list in question:
Whoa what kind of genius are you..........??!! 😃 😅 😅 um right on
Thank you so much. That completely changed my morning! Listened to the first pod recomnendation, will need to listen again but it made complete sense to me.