no hesitation

january recap // chance encounters with surgeons, musicians, and openai people

Jackson Hole airport has to be one of the most beautiful airports I’ve ever seen. It’s quite small (only eleven gates), yet the interior feels like a newly furnished cabin: lacquered wood, fireplaces, caramel pleather seating, and floor-to-ceiling windows that frame snow-covered mountains. The income per capita in Teton County is unmistakably reflected in the airport itself.

I’ve been living out of a large suitcase and a backpack for over a month now. It’s a bit long for comfort, but I’m fondly reminded of my time backpacking and hostel-hopping over a gap year. With this final leg in Wyoming, I’m now headed back to New York, penning a reflection mid-flight.

In the absence of concrete New Year’s resolutions, I’ve anchored to something more thematic: no hesitation.

January unfolded as a loop through the West: New Year’s skiing in Salt Lake City, two weeks in San Francisco with a weekend in Big Sur, back to Utah, and finally the drive up to Jackson Hole. What follows are reflections on new friendships I’ve made and fascinating chance encounters.

Friendships recap

Going out West meant lots of catching up with old friends in SF. However, spending time in Utah meant a new cast of Salt Lake friends.

• I started spending a lot of time with A. Our conversations helped me think more clearly about creativity (him as a musician, me as a writer) and about processing emotion via expression. We also share uncannily similar backgrounds: both children of immigrant doctors who moved to the Midwest

• E’s arc fascinates me because it’s wholly unexpected. He quit his job in software, moved home, and is now pivoting full-time into fashion design. Similar to me, E is someone deeply preoccupied with wayfinding

• I met L through skiing, and I’ve never met someone with as much of a devil-may-care attitude. He’s from China, but his accent is distinctly international (I would say Australian with German influences). Turns out we live in the same neighborhood in lower Manhattan, and I owe him a charcuterie board

Fascinating encounters

I’m a huge fan of things out of the ordinary. Here is a collection of surprising encounters that delighted me:

• At Roots Cafe in Salt Lake City, a Yemeni cardiothoracic surgeon approached me. This is as unlikely as it sounds. He told me what he did for work, and I told him I thought medicine was cool, and that I was rereading When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalinithi, a neurosurgeon who died of lung cancer at 37. He told me that is exactly what he treats. I happened to have the book with me, and on impulse, I gave it to him, as sort of a stranger’s chance-encounter gift. I think about this interaction a lot because it feels so… random? Serendipitous? I don’t know

• While I was in SF, I was invited to J’s surprise birthday party. I knew zero people on this list, yet I knew this would be an intimate gathering. Naturally, I said yes. Though I was initially terrified (I have almost no overlapping friends with J), I had a ton of fascinating conversations: an OpenAI researcher, and a handful of musicians who knew the CEO of the company I work for through jamming of all things. I ended up getting lunch with the OpenAI researcher later, and left feeling that the SF AI ecosystem was much more bullish than I thought. Overall, it was one of those nights that affirmed how small the world is

• Over a one and half hour Thursday lunch, I caught up with my former manager whom I haven’t spoken to over the summer of 2022. What struck me most was not the content of the conversation, but how much I’d grown, the propensity through which I could relate to someone a decade my senior. The broad, almost finite, contours of life revealed themselves to me then: once we have mastered food, water, shelter, what really matters is your relationships, the creation and maintenance of a family (both nuclear and found), and simply enjoying your time

February focus

I haven’t been very conscientious about goal-setting these past few years, but it feels useful. Here are my focuses for February:

• Aesthetics: I’ve been alive for twenty-something years, and yet taking personal beauty (e.g., hair, makeup) seriously has always been something I avoid because looking good takes comfort with femininity and that’s something that wasn’t explicitly taught in school so I feel like I’m not good at it and that stresses me out. Ahem. That being said, feeling pretty and aesthetically cared for feels really nice! So I want to continue to meaningfully invest in this area

• Meditation: I’ve recently started meditating again and want to make it a sustained practice. I also read an essay by Corbin on jhana, which I’ve been thinking about as a way of more intentionally influencing my feelings state– to feel more open! Whole! Grateful!

• Volunteering: Much of adult life (especially corporate) can be insular, consisting of repeated interactions with people who are largely the same as you. Volunteering feels like an intentional way of introducing the “other” into my life: other walks of life, other ways of seeing. It feels grounding (more of my cursory thoughts on the “other” here)

I’m planning to make these monthly or quarterly reflections more regular. As I move into February, I’m holding myself to a simple commitment: no hesitation. Drop me a line if you have thoughts on meditation or volunteering in New York!